Well, it was bound to happen at some point.
I filed my taxes last week, and I’m expecting a decent return. Now, there are a few things I could do with that money: dump it in my Roth IRA, add it to one of my savings buckets (personal? car? emergency fund?), give it away, or spend it. I picked spend. In fact, I picked “blow it all on crap”, which probably isn’t in line with my primary financial message. What’s more, the money hasn’t actually arrived, but I’ve taken the liberty to start spending it anyway by borrowing from my own personal savings.
Catharsis. I guess part of me wants to be a super-human saver, but I’m simply not that good. I’m not even a very frugal person. In fact, this is the first month in years in which I might actually spend within my grocery budget, but don’t ask me about the $80+ I’ve spent on gas station treats and the occasional King Soopers deli meal. I’ve been putting a little “s” next to the items in personal spending that are essentially snacks (predominantly coffee energy drinks, which yes, are terrible for you). I can’t believe how fast those have added up.
Now, I’m still putting a solid 50% of my income into my 401k. In fact, once the 2018 company match finally (*finally*) processes, my 401k should breach $40k. When I realized this last week, I had this “holy crap” moment, since it was last April or so that I announced it had reached $20k. Partly I’m getting a really sweet match every paycheck this year, partly it just adds up really fast. I’m also still participating in an HSA, and I like to put $100 into my car account every month, so my savings rate is slightly higher than 50%.
But I really don’t think I can go any further.
It started with a $280 pair of hiking boots. They fit beautifully, they have great support. 4/5 stars over 500 reviewers. I’m still breaking them in, took them back to the Strontia Springs Reservoir last week. I’m tired of blisters on my toes from my old boots, but I also didn’t like my heel being in serious pain like with the hiking boots I recently returned, which were maybe half the price. It was time to go big or go home. Whatever.
I’m planning to buy a $400, 0 degree backpacking sleeping bag in the near future, hopefully when there is a sale. I want to backpack. I don’t care anymore that it costs money. But I’m also never buying a bag rated higher than 0 degrees again, at least not as long as I live in Colorado. I don’t care.
Today I bought the MSR Windburner stove. Last year I made a stink and went super cheap, buying a $14 burner, but then spent more money for semi-functional stove pots. It really wasn’t very smart. I bought sub-par equipment and got sub-par results. But how about getting a rolling boil in 4 minutes, instead? Fine. I’ll pay the money for that. I don’t care.
Yesterday I ordered Weather Tech floor liners for my car. My car currently still has the stock floor mats, and the driver’s side has worn through to the rubber. I’ll pay for top mats. I just don’t care!
Argh! If you can imagine me in a room full of furniture and me throwing that furniture around, that’s basically what it feels like.
Do I still fear some sort of pagan “karmic retribution” for…spending money? What about my friends who can’t buy these things, is this like an insult to them? Is it un-thankfulness for life? For the good things I already have?
Furniture. Smash.
I’ve been temped to just turn off all 401k contributions for a month, take that extra money, and just completely spend it. Fortunately, the logical part of my brain keeps me from doing that (good especially because of the sweet immediately-vested company match I get each paycheck). Must stay the course!
But I’m drawing the line.
The good news is that items are getting checked off the “list” like crazy. Things I’ve wanted for a long time. Things that are designed to last. So there’s at least that. I’m hoping we get a bonus again this year, and if we do, that should arrive in March. I’d like to not put my G-IRA off until the very end of the year this time around, though, so it might be nice to set some of that aside early. Probably I will turn off 401k contributions for that bonus this time, though.
I feel like everyone is a little happier when they have some money at the end of the month to spend on themselves. I feel like I spend enough on myself already, but is it strange to say that sometimes I feel guilty for being a software developer? Financially…life is easy, even if you are earning money in the middle ranges of the experience spectrum. I get how supply and demand factor into this, but sometimes I don’t get why my skills, which largely consist of glorified logic and troubleshooting skills, are in the range of “well-compensated” while other, sometimes more difficult skills are not. Frankly, these are not issues I anticipated having to deal with, but I wrestle with them. It’s like a strange, neurotic form of economic “survivor’s guilt”.
Anyway. I’m letting myself spend money, but I still don’t believe in being *completely* haphazard about it. What makes the difference is that most of these things have been on my list for a long time, they just happen to be expensive. There’s an anime series I want to buy, but it’s literally checked-in to the library near me, so I put pause on buying that today. There really isn’t any pressing need to buy it. I’m just trying to keep a level head because, like anything else, costs can add up fast, and things can accumulate faster than we can make use of them.