On Keeping and Getting Rid of Things

About five or six years ago, I gave up almost all of my video games. I said goodbye to my PS2 and all the games I played in middle school and high school. I gave up my Game Boy Color. I even gave up the Game Cube I scored from a garage sale for $10.

It was a weird time. I wanted to do something with my life. I wanted to live something greater than the boring, middle class life. I figured that all the hours spent playing video games were at worst wasted and at best behind me. I had some odd attachments to certain games, but in general I had just moved away from them and could barely play new ones for my PS3, the only console to survive.

But was it the right thing to do? Was it necessary? I’ve had the minimalist kick for a long time, but I’ve really had to ask this question lately. Much of my desire to off those systems came from a servility to study. Like many Christians who want to go and do something different with their lives, I thought that the only way to move forward was to ditch the past and focus on production, whether that was studying a language, learning certain things, or volunteering.

Last fall I booted up an emulator to play Xenosaga, probably my favorite game of all time. It was one of the most cathartic things I’ve ever done. I can’t even describe just how nice and fun it was to revisit that game. Today I just popped in a PS4 remaster of Final Fantasy 12 and that felt good, too.

Breaking some of those bonds with the past might have been a good thing. But did I have to go that far? No. I’m inclined to believe that I was somewhat misguided at that time.

Now, I don’t regret not having tons of consoles all over the place; in fact, if Black Ops 2 gets ported for download on the PS4, I’ll probably ditch the PS3 post-haste (I literally have two games for that console). But still.

That focus on production? Yeah, that was not the right attitude. That doesn’t solve your problems. Heck, it doesn’t solve problems for anybody else, either. There’s no shortage of church-aholics who struggle to feel good about their lives outside of church activities and that sense of spiritual “production”. For me, it was knowledge. All work and no play. I feel somewhat embarrassed just writing this.

I recently bought Final Fantasy 15 for PS4. I’m not very far, but it’s good. I like the open environment. It’s kind of fun to revisit a favorite franchise after Square Enix finally got the ‘suck’ out of their games. FF 14 was not well received, and 13 had 3 iterations I never hear about.

I’m feeling moody as I mull this over. I’m half tempted to take some of my bonus money and buy a Nintendo Switch because there as so many cool-looking games out for it, but I’m not quite at the point of being willing to drop that much coin on another system, especially since I still don’t play video games very often and this likely won’t change. Would it do me some good to make a few frivolous purchases? The battle rages inside.