If you only knew me from my blog, you might think I’m a fairly negative person. At times in my life this has actually been true, but it usually doesn’t take me long to pick up on this, and during those times I’ve had to ask myself exactly where that negativity comes from. But other times, there are usually great things in my life. I don’t share many of those things online because it makes me feel like I’m going cheap on my family and friends, who deserve to hear these things in person instead of anonymously through the internet. Either way, I certainly won’t deny being a skeptical person, which is fairly common among INTJs, and it has served me rather well.
Here’s what’s so great about skepticism:
- Less Heartache
- I don’t believe I have ever asked a girl out whom I haven’t been around for a month or two. I’ve had friends who would try to ask waitresses out and stuff like that, and I always thought that was insane because how can you be truly interested in someone you don’t know? What if she’s a psycho? Moreover, I’ve learned to test my own heart over the years and pay close attention to my feelings, and I don’t take them lightly. I don’t go chasing after some girl without really good reasons, and I myself probably can’t enumerate how many poor choices this sort of skepticism can prevent.
- Less Debt
- My Christian college experience sucked. I have some good memories hanging out with friends, sure, but after just three semesters I was $18k in the hole. This didn’t sit very well with me. This did not feel like a good thing. I also did not get good vibes from that college. At first I bought all those tales of how great it was supposed to be, but then I became skeptical that this was really working in my favor. YMMV. I transferred away, saving me a whole whack of debt and putting me on a better course for my interests.
- DIY Victories
- Many years ago, my parents’ refrigerator stopped working. The technician who did the inspection gave my parents some bullshit about how it needed a new compressor, and that would be $800 to change, or my parents would need to buy a new refrigerator. I was skeptical. After doing some research, I was able to test the refrigerator myself and determine that the problem was very likely the relay that sends power to the compressor. I told my dad I had a hunch and that only if the part solved the problem would he need to pay me back. I drove to a warehouse in Aurora to buy a $50 relay, came home and swapped old for new, and the fridge started right back up. So basically that technician was a shyster, and there is no shortage of shysters in the world. I think a little skepticism goes a long way.
- Mo’ money
- If I listened to the advice of the world, I’d probably be broke. Whether it’s people who think getting ahead is impossible, seedy radio salesmen telling you how easy it is to get rich flipping houses, or this weird idea that life is a huge deprivation if you don’t treat yourself to everything under the sun, there’s no shortage of just really horrible advice out there. Calling bullshit on this is a fun pass time of mine. It’s not that I have all the answers on money, but I do have around $150,000, most of which I probably wouldn’t have if I had spent the past four years chasing flashy cars, status symbols, creature comforts, or even more green via risky investments. Nothing is guaranteed to me in the future, but being led about by everything everybody says is no way to live. If somebody had told me it was impossible to save half of my income and I had believed them, I would not have reached this milestone. So cheers to skepticism.
- My faith would be weak-sauce
- Many people know the crisis of faith I went through in late high school and off and on throughout college. This was the worst, most painful time in my life, for what that’s worth, and I wouldn’t wish it on anybody, but I think I have some decent reasons for believing what I do now. I think it’s kind of ignorant to not have any questions of your faith. There’s really nothing to admire about “blind faith”, but thankfully God knows how to give us some really good reasons at times, though no system of understanding is ever complete.
And it’s not that being skeptical is some cure-all to everything. Far from it. There’s a time and a place for simply trusting people, but there’s also a time and place for asking those critical questions that keep you from being placed in a really bad position.
After college, I was desperate for a job, and there seemed to be an opportunity at a well-known finance organization. But this was at a time before I learned about finance and FIRE and retirement accounts and all that. The offer seemed too good to be true, because it was. They told me I’d be building a client base starting with my family and friends, and the alarm bells went off in my head. I was desperate, yes, but not that desperate. I passed on this, and several months later would find a decent temp job right before entering the field of software development. Once again, a little skepticism goes a long way.
I don’t particularly trust the news, either left or right, but I don’t completely ignore the news either. I take what I read with a grain of salt. I believe that health is good, but I don’t trust every statement about health that is popular or vogue. I do most of the work on my car, but I know that I have a limit (even if I keep pushing it). I absolutely do not trust advertisers, because if it has to be advertised to me, it’s probably not something I really need in the first place. I am also aware that our own psychology is constantly being weaponized against us, to impoverish us for someone else’s gain. You might call that negativity, but I call that reality. And I do have fun writing about it in this blog.