I made the mistake yesterday of watching a YouTube video detailing the business lessons one guy had learned over the past decade. He wasn’t otherwise (quite) arrogant, readily admitting that most lessons he had only learned in the past few years, after many more years of experience, but there was also a certain “hustle bro” mentality that crept into from time to time, and even though he already had tens of millions of dollars, it was like he refused to believe there was anything more to life than grinding. Lately, I’ve been mysteriously stressed and getting very poor sleep, including the night before, and mentally, it was probably one of the worst things I could have watched; my day pretty much spiraled downhill from there.
One of the hardest things in life, I believe, is understanding what a good boundary is without being envious or otherwise condemning to people who view their own boundaries differently. I don’t want to bring Olympic athletes down just because I’m not athletic, nor do I want to bring down highly successful business owners just because they put value in hard work and success (whatever those mean to them). At the same time, it’s hard to know how to reject those value systems without implicitly criticizing them (or even, thinking they are kind of stupid). After all, I’m not a millionaire, but I certainly wouldn’t mind being one, and I certainly wouldn’t mind being in better shape, too, so is it really right for me to criticize?
I revisited an old FIRE blog that was pretty ‘zen’ on stuff like that, and within two recent posts I immediately encountered some perspective. One idea floated around how the word “discipline”, for many of us, has become synonymous with hustle culture, but it maybe deserves to be treated in a different light because it can otherwise be quite freeing. I thought of it from the perspective of how I don’t need to plan my day out in 15-minute chunks, which is obnoxious, but I probably don’t need to stay up until 2am every night, either. I often play Fortnite with friends until 12am, and it takes me awhile to wind down from that mentally, but even simply having the discipline to not read books or memes for 1-2 hours, choosing instead to get to bed at 1am, could make a world of difference. I otherwise would love to wake up at 7 or 8am, but it’s terrible if it only affords me 5 hours of sleep. To go to bed at 1am is not exactly military-grade “discipline”, but it still counts, and it’s not there to impinge on my freedom, but to make my life better.
And although the reaction against hustle culture is very strong inside of me, I’ve seen the opposite do bad things to people, too. An old coworker, during an almost impossibly long stretch of not having work at a former company, had chosen to spend that time binging various TV series on his phone. He was laid off late last year, and 6 months later still does not have a job. And I feel for him because he is a cool guy, and we very loosely stayed in touch over the years, but he could easily have spent that time investing in skills or certifications that could have made it much easier for him to find a job today. His choice to waste all of that time ultimately exposed his priorities, so it’s not hard to understand how shaky his employability may be now if it was clearly never a priority for him to invest in his own skills.
In the same vein, as much as I love my parents, they never pushed themselves professionally in any way, and at one point in my life, they spent a lot of time dreaming up various shaky means to make a buck or two, none of which ever amounted to anything or gave them any long-term skills. Now near retirement age, work is harder for them, but they are only qualified for relatively low-paying jobs. It’s nothing against low-paying jobs, and it’s nothing against all the good things they did raising me and my sister, but for all their years of tuning out in front of the TV, it’s sad to see the price they have paid for their apathy. Did they really need to watch TV 5 hours every evening? Could they have maybe spared even just 1 hour each evening to study something with a real-world payout? Naw, reality shows and bullshit far-right news saying mean things about liberal politicians for an hour is better! [Sorry, I’m kind of bitter. Middle class priorities, folks. Life-giving stuff.]
I guess, then, if I were trying to find some sort of middle way, it’s to understand that doing nothing, as a matter of principle, hurts in you the long run, while grinding it out causes you to distort your purpose for living in the first place. Seriously, if I had 10 million dollars, I would not be trying to run more businesses, but I think some of those people (emphasis on “some”) are simply addicted to the sense of self-worth they derive from success, so they make it their purpose to feel perpetually good about themselves, hence the general arrogance found in hustle culture. I won’t say this level of success is wrong, but more often than not, this also hurts people in the long run. I remember a father at one wedding I attended pleading with the guests not to make work their life the way he had, which, he claimed, had resulted in his divorce. Of course, many of these hustle bros treat relationships as some sort of game to be won, too. I don’t understand people.
Last week, I did actually watch a YouTube video of a guy who owned many businesses and was constantly busy, but was reflecting on how short life is. That one wasn’t bad, but I just thought it was odd this guy had no free time whatsoever. I really do think people get addicted to “success”.
On the personal side, in an attempt to address natural envy, I always think back to a Jordan Peterson quote about how what you envy tends to expose your values. After all, we don’t envy those things we honestly don’t care about; it’s only the things we do care about that draw us into our sense of lack. I guess for me, I wish I had a little more discipline to push through the various subjects that interest me, as well as the discipline and/or spontaneity to get out and actually do things with my life, too. I kind of suck at having fun, and it’s much harder for me pull myself away from study when I have a lot to study. My life has been pretty boring as I prepare for my next big certification test. And this is very interesting, because these two desires often work against each other, and one of my big problems is that I’ve kind of set myself up in such a way that I can never win.
After watching that one video, which was over an hour, the YouTube algorithm now shows me that guy’s videos everywhere, and in each thumbnail, he stares intensely and angrily into the camera. Turn that business into 50 million, you have no excuse! Do this now! Work harder!
I don’t know, man. I don’t think it’s healthy.